Saturday, August 27, 2011
I asked for Strength…
And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong…
I asked for Wisdom…
And God gave me Problems to solve…
I asked for Prosperity…
And God gave me Brain and Energy to work…
I asked for Courage…
And God gave me Danger to overcome…
I asked for Love…
And God gave me Troubled People the help…
I asked for Favors…
And God gave me Opportunities…
I received nothing I wanted…
But I received EVERYTHING I needed…
Saturday, August 20, 2011
There was once a wise man that used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. He was walking along the shore one day when he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself as he didn’t think anybody would dance on the beach at this time of the day. Hence, he began to walk faster to try and catch up with the person. As he got closer, he saw that the person was a young man and he wasn’t dancing. Instead, he was reaching down to pick up something on the beach every now and then before throwing it into the ocean very gently. When the wise man got closer, he called out, “Good morning! What are you doing?” The young man looked up and replied, “Throwing starfish into the ocean.” “Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” “The sun is up and the tide is going down. If I don’t throw them in they’ll die.” “There are miles and miles of beach and there are starfishes all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!” The young man listened politely. Then he bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves. He said, “It made a difference for that one.” Each of us can make a difference to this world. Everybody is useful and it is just a matter of whether you want to make a difference.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
are like apples
on trees. The best ones
are at the top of the tree.
The boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren’t as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they’re amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who’s
brave enough to
to the top
of the tree.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
A girl wanted a ring.
But the boy gave a teddy bear
In anger the girl threw the bear on
The boy want 2 take it back but
Was hit by a coming car and died.
At his funeral,
The girl hugged the bear and the
Machine in it spoke:
“Will you marry me?
Guess what she found a ring inside it.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap,”
(and that would be how???….)
On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.”
(but, it’s “just” a suggestion).
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turn upside down.”
(well…duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after heating.”
(…and you thought????…)
On packaging for a Rowena iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.”
(but wouldn’t this save me more time)?
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(and…I’m taking this because???….)
On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(as opposed to…what)?
On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use.”
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.”
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Step 3: maybe, ooh…fly Delta?)
On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw — “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400.It carries over no balance from day to day.
Friday, July 22, 2011
This is a letter from a boy to a girl . The girl’s father doesn’t like him and want them to stop their relationship… and so the boy wrote this letter because he knows that the girl’s father will definitely read this letter…
1. The great love that I have for you
2. is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3. grows every day. When I see you,
4. I do not even like your face;
5. the one thing that I want to do is
6. look at other girls. I never wanted to
7. marry you. Our last conversation
8. was very boring and has not
9. made me look forward to seeing you again.
10. You think only of yourself.
11. If we were married, I know that I would find
12. life very difficult, and I would have no
13. pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14. to give, but it is not something that
15. I want to give to you. No one is more
16. foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17. able to care for me and help me.
18. I sincerely want you to understand that
19. I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20. if you think this is the end. Do not try
21. to answer this. Your letters are full of
22. things that do not interest me. You have no
23. true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24. I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25. I am still your boyfriend!
Oh So bad! However, before handling over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to “READ BETWEEN THE LINES”, meaning - only to read 1,3,5,7…. (Odd Numbers) So please try reading it again! It’s so smart and sweet ;)
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Don’t assume that guys won’t care where you are, because we do. It makes us feel secure to know that our girlfriends aren’t off flirting with other guys we’ve never heard of.
Also, don’t talk about your ex-boyfriends. We never have, nor ever will respect or like them, nor do we want to hear about them. When you do, you’re asking your boyfriend to be jealous. You’re asking your boyfriend to lose trust.
On that, don’t hump everything that walks in the room. We don’t care if you talk to other guys. We don’t care if you’re friends with other guys. But when you’re sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn’t help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we’re still there.
Also, when we tell you you’re pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/stunning, we freaking mean it. Don’t tell us we’re wrong. We’ll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence. Yeah, you can quote me.
Don’t be mad when we hold the door open. Smile and say “Thank you”. Let us pay for you. Don’t feel bad we enjoy doing it. It’s expected.
Kiss us when no one is watching. If you kiss when you know nobody’s looking we’ll be more impressed.
You don’t have to get dressed up for us. If we’re going out with you in the first place, you don’t have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have, put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for who you are and not what you are.
Don’t flirt with guys when we’re not around. We’ll find out. Trust us. We have eyes everywhere. And when we find out, we’re pissed. Not necessarily with the guys you flirt with, more so with you.
Don’t take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it. Don’t get angry easily. Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don’t talk about how hot is Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt in front of us. It’s boring we don’t care. You have girlfriends for that.
What happened to the word “handsome”? Why does everything have to be “hot/sexy”? I’d be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with “Hey handsome!” instead of “Hey baby/stud/cutie/sexy” or whatever else you can think of. Claiming girls or guys to be hot shows maturity.
Girls, I cannot stress out this enough: If you aren’t being treated right by a guy, don’t wait for him to change. Ditch his sorry, disgrace-to-the-male population ass, and find someone who will treat you with respect. Someone who will honor your morals. Someone who will make you smile when you’re at your lowest.